Take It To The Limit My Friendo

December 14, 2017

Take it to the limit my friendo
Turn around and bendy bend bendo
Take it to the limit my friendo
Take my digit up your rear endo
Yeah, gonna stick it in there
Right up the derriere
Yeah yeah
Yeah, gonna stick it right up
Right up your buttercup
Yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup

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Breathe in my Bum Pumps

December 14, 2017

Put your head near my bum crack and wait for my pump
Feel the wind on your cheek as I empty my rump
Cop a whiff, cop a whiff, cop a whiff, cop a whiff
Breathe in my pumps
Breathe in my bum pumps
Breathe in my pumps
Breathe in my bum pumps
Breathe me pumps


Bring the Noise Baby Jesus (Turn on the Fan-o)

November 29, 2017

Oh baby Jesus
Oh baby Jesus
Oh baby Jesus
It is the season for birds and bees and
Nobody’s freezing now
Sunshine in my eyes
Close those doors, turn on the fan-o
Dry my pores, turn on the fan-o
Now dry yours, turn on the
Fan-o, fan-o, man-o, man-o
What choo thinkin’?
Why is it hot and stinking?
Fan-o, fan-o, man-o, man-o
Pushing forty
It’s Spring not Summer, naughty!
Whack that knob at the back Jack
Whack that knob at the back
[repeat til fade]


I Like Monks

October 20, 2017

Deep, deep in the monastery
Deep, deep in the monastery
Sweep the halls, don’t touch your balls
Oh I like monks, those monky-monk monk-monks
Bible study time, never talk just mime
I like monks, those monky-monk monkolators
I like monks, those monky-monk monkolators
No need for ‘tato sacks these days
The monky church has come such a long way
Those little bald spots are old hat
Brother Bob’s curls can attest to that

 


Put Your Finger In My Mouth

September 16, 2017

Put your finger on my face
Put your finger in my mouth
Put your finger in my little mouth my
Mouth when I yawn-o
Mouth when I yawn-o
Oh oh what a day, what a day in Jesus
Oh oh what a day in Christ


Time for a Funeral

September 13, 2017

When your life ends
Your family and friends
Will put on a funeral
They’ll hire a person
Coffin and hearse and
Put on a funeral
Priest, rev or vicar
Then they will pick
A place for the ceremony
Break down halfway through
The speech that they do and
Press on courageously
Try to sum you up, la la la
Then learn a lesson
Based on your whole life
There is a cake coz
There is a wake
Right after the funeral
It sure may be sad
But it’s not all bad
Three cheers for your funeral


Holy Gumballs

August 1, 2017

Holy holy gumballs
Holy Hell
Praise be to God
Please believe that Jesus sees us
He is Lord upon Heaven’s hot seat
Oh la la la la
He rules all things on micro and macro levels