Picnics are Shit

February 5, 2015

New Song!

Download Link
Picnics are Shit
Picnics are shit
You just sit with no chair for your back
Sitting straight up on a blanket in some bullshit park
There’s some trees and families and their shit dogs
I’d lie down but fuck, the ground is lumpy
Look at the dogs all shitting
At eye height coz we’re all sitting
Children just asking for shit
Tupperware all on the blanket


Hundos

February 2, 2015

New Song!

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Hundos
I need some hundos, I’m poor as shit
Fuck me dead, they cut my work down
They won’t need comics for quite a bit
I hope I don’t get evicted
So I’m shaking my hair into the basin
Checking for bugs that make me itch
And my client just told me that her sister died
If it’s not true then she’s a massive bitch
Just round the corner they need some staff
Maybe I could work at Deane’s
Clearing those bugs out will cost a lot
I wish people still bought magazines


Do You Want to ABC

January 24, 2015

New Song!

Download Link
Do You Want to ABC
Do you want to A
Do you want to B
Do you want to C
DEFGHIJK
LMNO LMNO
P P (see my pee pee)
LMNO LMNO
pee pee
At the break of dawn
(Dawn dicky dawn dicky dicky dawn doo) etc


Cycling

January 18, 2015

New Song!

Download Link
Cycling
Cycling hurts my prostate
Prostate
And my bum bones
And it makes my balls ache
Balls ache
Think I’ll stick to walking


Don’t Call Armpits “Pits”

January 9, 2015

New Song!

Download Link
Don’t Call Armpits “Pits”
Don’t call armpits “pits”
That’s shit, it makes my dick shrink
Call them armpits
Don’t omit the “arm” bit
It just makes me think of
Piss and stink


Pick up Potatoes

January 2, 2015

New Song!

Download Link
Pick up Potatoes
Pick up potatoes
Pick up potatoes
Pick up potatoes please
Pick up bananas
Pick up tomatoes
Pick up some Bega cheese
If you want fritatas
Get eggs for starters
I’ll cook it up by jeez
Yum yum yuuuuuum
Yum yum yum yum yum yum
Yum


Gingerbread Man

December 28, 2014

New Song!

Download Link
Gingerbread Man
Gingerbread
Gingerbread man
I want to be a little gingerbread man
Pick me up
Bite off my head
And as you chew you remember
I’m just shit gingerbread


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