Bang Bang

August 31, 2011


Bang Bang
Bang Bang Bang
Oh dear, I just got shot
Wank Wank Wank
What kind of gun was that?
Maybe it was a rifle
Or a big shot gun
Maybe it was a sniper
Or an old crossbow
Now I’m dead

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I Get Gas

August 30, 2011


I Get Gas
I get gas
I burp a lot
From my ass
Or from my mouth
I am sorry that I eat so fast


My Secret Place

August 29, 2011


My Secret Place
There’s a secret place I know of
Where I like to go sometimes
It’s located in between my
Scrotum and my big browneye
When I’m sad or feeling bad
I go there and I feel glad
Do you want a look?


David’s Message (For You)

August 28, 2011

The lyrics of this song are by David.

David’s Message (For You)
For you my life is here
For you’re my love so dear
For you’re my love so true
My love is here for you
For you are my life’s light
My only true delight
For you I’d give my soul
To marry you is my goal


The Smelly Stripper

August 27, 2011


The Smelly Stripper
There once lived a stripper who was
So damn smelly
She did not wash
She shook her ass in men’s faces
They left and never came back


What I Did on Saturday

August 26, 2011

New Song!

What I Did on Saturday
I walked to A Thousand Pound, Thousand Pound Bend
I met up with Jessica, Jessica then
I bought lots of stationery, got a free coffee
Then Marta turned up and we drew around the table
Greg was there and David turned up and
We took a taxi to Arran’s house and
He wanted Taco Truck but we moaned at the queue
So we drove right past to Alasya even though
Arran had already had it that day.
Oh, and Norton his sausage dog came with us in the car
and all day i couldn’t stop thinking bout this other girl
Anyway, it was fun. What a busy day it was
I’d better check and see if Jess is okay
Cause ***** turned up and woo woo woo woo
I hope that c*nt doesn’t ruin everything by
hanging around there woo woo woo woo
You may think this tale sounds dumb
But this shit’s new to me


Sweet Sweet Toilet Paper

August 25, 2011

New Song!

Sweet Sweet Toilet Paper
Oh I predict my bog will drop
And splash my bum crack with a plop
And make me scream out with disgust
As my wee goes on my bum
Rum tee tum tee tum
Rum tee tum
Splash goes my big fat poo
When I don’t lay down, lay down toilet paper
Sweet, sweet toilet paper
Stop that splash from hitting my ass hole, oh yeah
Oh yeah