I’m an Absolute Professional

July 26, 2016

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I’m an absolute professional
You should see my credentials
I’m an absolute professional
You should see my credentials

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Man O Man

July 12, 2016

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Man O Man O Kazakhstan
My Nan likes flan, my Gran likes bran
Stan – a man – bought bran for Nan
But Gran’s the bran fan, man
Oh Stan, Oh Gran
Bran fan


Inside my Panties

July 3, 2016

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It’s time to do a little poo
Inside my panties
I’ll get a spoon, the finest spoon
And clean out those panties
Oh, oh, what a treat to take home
A teaspoon of the poo I just done
Time to do a little poo
Every day of my life

This song is plagiarised… I woke up to my upstairs neighbour playing some song using these chords and melody which I started singing rude words to, then it was funny so I spent an hour making it into a Tootleg Boy song while I ate Uncle Toby’s meusli. Unfortunately I couldn’t emulate the Bowie/new romantic voice I imagined it in.

If you recognise the tune of the first eight bars please tell me!