Let it Be [video]

February 25, 2019


Why’s Nobody Thank the Tram Man?

February 12, 2019

Why’s nobody thank the tram man?
Is it coz it’s just a tram
They never say “May your soul get rocked
in the bosom of Abraham.”
But everybody thanks the bus boy
Is it coz he steers as well
Tram man has only presses one button I guess
So he can go straight to hell


I Wish I Was a Grandpa

February 10, 2019

I wish I was a grandpa with a mumma for a daughter
I wish I was a grandpa with a papa for a son
I wish I was a grandpa with a daughter with a daughter
But no brother for the mother coz an uncle is no fun
no no uncles
I hope they have a grandma for the papa of the papa
I hope they have a grandma for the papa of the mum
I’d better have a grandma coz I’d always have to wonder
Where the heck’s the big vagina coz they can’t come from a bum
No, they cant come from a bum
They must come from a woman’s little bitsoes
They wouldn’t fit so well
Out of my gramparsehole, out of my gramparsehole
Out of my gramparsehole, out of my gramparsehole
Out of my gramparsehole, out of my gramparsehole
Out of my gramparsehole, out of my gramparsehole
Pardon me


Don’t Play God

February 8, 2019

Don’t fly in a plane or make a clone
Don’t try and control things such as babies
It’s blasphemy man, and blasphemy – that’s a crime


Letter to Sarah

February 7, 2019

Hey Sister, lemme tell ya all the things I been doing
I guess you heard we’re gonna be on Coxy’s Big Break
It looks like it can’t pronounce the word “break” over two notes
Oops, I forgot to ask how you were, how ya been going?
When ya coming down to visit me in Melbourne Town, Melbourne Town?
[repeat once while it fades]

Note: This is a song I wrote years ago but never posted, so here you go! 


Beige

February 5, 2019

Struggling with leftie values doesn’t mean you’re not beige
Liking indie music doesn’t mean you’re not beige
That time that you got hammered and then jumped up on the stage
That was the 90’s, we’re on a new page
Your eyebrow raise and “interesting?” send me into a rage


Scripture

February 4, 2019

Jesus – He can walk on water
Jesus – Met a woman, taught her
Jesus – He gave stacks of sermons
Jesus – And not just to Germans
Most men go to Hell
Same for women as well


Get Your Face Out of My Face

February 4, 2019

Take a hike, get on your bike
Jump in the lake, make that your holy mission
Take your face another place
I don’t want you existing in my vision
It’s time
Time to make yourself scarce
Don’t let the door bump you on the arsehole
Close it properly, don’t be a dick

 


Hey Sue When do You Want to Hang Out

February 2, 2019

When can I
Come around
When can I
Come around-o, come around-o
Eat some snacks-o, play some X Bo
Woah woah woah
Last time we
Made some stuff
Last time you
Showed me how to cast with resin
Cloned your finger as a present
Bum bum bum bum farty bum poo poo
Bum bum bum bum farty bum plop
Bum bum bum bum farty bum poo poo
Bum bum bum bum farty bumplop


Cleaning Another Man’s Shit

February 1, 2019

I can’t believe it, I have to clean up another man’s shit
What has it come to, I have to clean up another man’s poo
I must make some calls
Someone left a stain
Did not want to leave it
Can you believe it?
I am a bit like Jesus Christ in some ways