South Melbourne Markets

Markets, South Melbourne markets.
South Melbourne dim sims, yeah.
And although Preston is still the best one,
they don’t have oysters there.
They’re open Fridays and Wednesdays and the weekend.
Don’t forget money, money to spend.
$12 gets you a fruit platter fit for kings.

My Bike Adventure

I went for a bike ride for the first time in over a year since I serviced my bike-bike. I went up Moonee Ponds Creek right up to that towering train bridge that I really like-like. Beyond that there was that boujie suburb. There was a blonde mum walking her two kids. Trailing behind her was her husband just staring at his phone like a cock. Plus he was ugly. After that part there was a cool big drain. There was graffitti of the Ninja Turtles. I stopped and took a few photos. Hopped on my bike and pressed on yeah, yeah. Rode along, wiggled around, under a road, over a mound. Under a bridge and what do you think I saw? A lonely sports bar at the top of a hill! Shimmering grass hills and nothing but silence. Peaceful and grey like the road to the ghost world. There was no sound to be heard. No noise or traffic, no person or bird. Zeeby Zeeby. It was time to turn around a go home. My legs were okay but my bum bones were aching. Passed over two freeways, down to a station, then past those labs where they do chemical making. Took a shortcut through the Fawkner graveyard where the people have been Lord and Savioured. On your bike my friends. On your bike my friends.

A Giant Piece Of Fish (and Steamed Vegetables)

A giant piece of fish and steamed vegetables
A giant piece of fish and steamed vegetables
A giant piece of fish and steamed vegetables
A giant piece of fish and steamed vegetables
A giant piece of fish and steamed vegetables
A giant piece of fish and steamed vegetables
A giant piece of fish and steamed vegetablesA giant piece of fish and steamed vegetablesA giant piece of fish and steamed vegetablesA giant piece of fish and steamed vegetablesA giant piece of fish and steamed vegetablesA giant piece of fish and steamed vegetablesA giant piece of fish and steamed vegetables

A giant piece of fish

Showers

Have a shower, you’re stinkng kinda bad
I know it’s coz you’re sad
Your brain’s fucky
Showers, you’re kinda rank
Wash off that uberstank
Cleaned the shower, I used old toothbrushes
to clean the crevices
Not mine, I mean the showers
It looks so clean
Shiny and so pristine
Have not felt this beautiful since I was gestating
Fuck the water bill, I ain’t going nowhere

The Pirate Song II

I am a pirate.
La la la la la la.
If there’s a cannon I’ll fire it.
That’s because I am a pirate.
I think that land can fuck itself, fuck itself.
That’s because I’m no landlubber.
And I’m no cassette tape dubber.
More like a pirate of large boaties.
Boats are my passion.
Smashing waves is my fave.
Tubular fucken kahunas.
And for dins yellow fin tunas.
Pillage the sea-seas, fishies for tea-teas.
Pass me the lem squeeze, yum yum.
Sailing the sev seas, pirates forevsies.
We got sea legs, see, yum yum.
Yum.

Better Call Saul

Best Man

Subscribe to continue reading

Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.

Already a subscriber?

Zooper Dooper

Zooper dooper, I wanna zooper dooper
Zooper dooper, I wanna zooper dooper
When you’re at the fridge do me a favour
Get me one I don’t care about the flavour
Snip the end off, let it sit a little
Hope it’s flakey, just a little brittle
Make ’em proper, not the sugar-free ones
It’s the breakfast and dinner of champions